Let it sheleg, let it sheleg, let it sheleg

Happy New Year! I hope everyone rang it in with lots of friends, family, and adult beverages. December 31-January 1 isn't nearly as big a big deal here in Israel as it is in the States, or for that matter most every other place on Earth. People party here on New Year's Eve, but let's just say Carson Daly won't be in Tel Aviv next year to ring in 2008.

I didn't do very much of anything this New Year's. I've been pretty sick the last few weeks, so I decided not to risk it and go all-out. Besides, in catching up on my American gossip, it appears this crack-whore drank enough for the both of us.


Riiiiiiiiiiight


Anyways, the big news here in Jerusalem is the snow storm that hit here last week. Yea, that's right, snow storm. Jerusalem got snow before NYC did. How's that for holier than thou?

The day of the storm I was so sick and coked-out on medicine that when I woke up, looked outside and saw nothing but white, I couldn't help but think: "Damn it. I'm heading towards the white light. And I didn't even get to go to Dinosaur BBQ on last time before I died." It was a pretty weird and surreal experience. First of all, because I was sick and imagining things. And second, who expects to see snow in Jerusalem? So I'm sure you can understand my confusion.

At any rate, I didn't get to go out and play. Mostly because I was sick. And also because I'm 28 years old. But had I been healthier, I would really have thought about it. They say 28 is the new 12, so it only would have made sense for me to be out there frolicking. Pics:



A normal Jerusalem evening sky. Before the snow hit.



When's the last time you saw a snow-covered palm tree?



There aren't many Jeeps in Jeru, but this one came in handy.



Frosty Goldenbergsteinovitz, the Jewish snowman.



The Student Village, our snowy paradise.

So now that I've survived snow in the Middle East, I'm not quite sure what else there is to see here. I mean, I live 20 minutes outside of a desert for cripes sake. I think I'm probably one biblical-sized flood away from seeing it all.

Anyways, I'm also quite happy to report that I'll be coming home in less than a month. I could use a break from studying. And not a moment too soon 'cause I am in desperate need of some Mexican food. The closest thing Israel has to a burrito is chow mein. Not exactly the same thing.

So for now, Happy New Year and enjoy the balmy U.S. weather. Unless you live in Denver. Then...uhhh...sorry about all the snow.

-E

One reason I like it here...

Great bit of writing in today's New York Daily News...pretty much sums up what I miss about New York.

But then I got to thinking about it and, actually, a lot of these cross-cultural shenanigans happen in Israel, which is one of then reasons I'm finding it really easy to adjust to life here. The old "Ashkenazi Jew meets Ethiopian Jewish immigrant at a kosher Brazilian restaurant where the waiter is an American Jewish student and the bus boy is an illegal Thai worker" story. Anyways, just a thought.

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/482410p-405865c.html

Mob rap in bagel boom

Feds tie S.I. attack in '01 to gangland rivals

BY ERNIE NASPRETTO and JOHN MARZULLI DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Only in New York would a Mafia associate nicknamed The Irishman allegedly provide a bomb used to destroy a Pakistani immigrant's deli that was competing with a bagel store protected by the mob.

The feds yesterday charged reputed Gambino crime associate Edward Fisher with orchestrating the December 2001 arson attack on My Deli and Grocery in Staten Island...

2 and 1/2 French!

Well folks, my dream has finally come true.

I'm a rock star.

Yea, that's right. I'm in a real-life, hard-rockin', chick-gettin', envy-inspirin' rock and roll band. We're called "2 and 1/2 French." The band members include: me, and my two roommates. They're French. I'm half-French. I came up with the name. A stroke of genius, I know.

Anyways, 2 and 1/2 French had its debut performance a few weeks ago and we blew away the competition. We're still working on original material, so we did a cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya!" I don't want to sound arrogant or anything, but we were amazing. Now, as an official rock and roll star, there is a certain latitude afforded to me for arrogance. Therefore, the truth is: we were the best. Point blank.


Getting ready for our debut performance. Notice the
skull caps and white shirts. In the music business, we
call this: "looking damn good."


Where did we play, you ask? Teddy Stadium in Jerusalem? Ramat Gan Stadium? Not even close. For our debut performance, we chose a very intimate setting; one that would get us the spotlight we so richly deserve: the Rothberg International School Talent Show.




The crowd was estimated at about 150, although those are the figures provided by local law enforcement. I thought the size of the crowd was more in the 50,000-range. Although I could be wrong; frankly I couldn't tell...the spotlight on us was too strong. You could say the spotlight was blinding.



At this point in the performance, no one in the crowd
knew the greatness that stood before them. But as soon
as those first few lyrics came out: "1-2-3. My baby don't mess
around cause she loves me so and this I know fo' sho...",
everyone knew.


Anyways, 2 and 1/2 French is getting ready to go on tour so if anyone out there wants to sign us to a lucrative, multi-million dollar contract, I suggest you do so immediately. Talent like this doesn't come around very often.

Until next time, keep on rockin'...

"Shake it like a polaroid picture."

-E

P.S. What? You wanna watch video of 2 and 1/2 French taking the stage? Fine. Go here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDwbqQALdNc

And the award goes to......

Seeing that 2006 is almost over, I believe it's time to hand out the one and only award I give out for my blog.

And the 2006 winner of Best Responder to "Erik's web-based log...a 'blog if you will" goes to:

Drum roll please...

SEAN MCMAHON


Look at this guy. What is his deal? He looks like an out-of-work porn star who recently found work, and then got fired again. And oh by the way Sean, the homeless guy we always see outside of the Dupont Circle Metro called. He wants his t-shirt back.

But all joking aside, Sean has developed quite a skill for blog commentilization. No matter the subject matter, Sean finds a way to make his voice heard (albeit only by the 5 people who read this damn thing but whatever). Here are a few of his 2006 highlights:

-Re: Iranian Holocaust denial: "Will there be feats of strength?! What about airing of grievances? I've got some grievances to air!

-Re: Hebrew University Man Day 2K6: "You guys played the cracker game didnt you? You're disgusting."

-Re: The new U2 Best-Of album: "Who-ooo-oooooh-ooooo cares? Bono likes sweaty mens." (PS: Notice the use of the word "mens" with an "s" at the end. Brilliant maneuver)

-Re: The aesthetic nature of the Hebrew University campus: "You suck! Syracuse is the most beautifulest city in the entire world. Is Faegans still there?"


So there you have it. As this year's winner, Sean walks away with $10,000 as well as a new baby boy recently acquired off the black market:




You take care of that kid, Sean! And a hearty congratulations from the staff of "Erik's web-based log...a 'blog if you will."

-E

Black Slavery Never Happened...

"I'm gonna host a conference questioning what really happened in the Americas from the 17th century until 1865. Because I don't think Black slavery actually happened. And if it did, it was only a handful of Blacks."

Try saying that to any of your Black friends and see how they react. If they deck you...good. You deserved it.

So who did you deck (figuratively of course...I don't condone violence unless it's in the WWE) this week when Iran's Mahmoud "Call me Adolf" Ahmadinejad hosted a conference calling into the question the existence of the Holocaust?

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/11/AR2006121100198.html

Mahmoud and his merry band of psychopaths (they call themselves "revisionists") got together for a little old-fashioned anti-semitism. That's what this is: anti-semitism dressed up as "academic research." The rational is simple: If you question the existence of the Holocaust and call it "research," it makes it a lot easier and "legitimate" to question the existence of Israel.

Don't be fooled...this is no joke. Mahmoud is even telling the world what he wants to do: wipe Israel off the face of the Earth. He's actually telling us all what he wants to do! Right to our faces.

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/27/AR2005102702221.html

My family members who were murdered in the Holocaust, like those of many many others, would not want me or any other human being sitting on our asses. The folks at the Iraq Study Group want Bush to talk to Iran and Syria. Maybe before we start talking to these monsters, we should be listening to what they're saying instead...

Anyways, that's enough for today. I don't even want to get started on that buffoon of an ex-president Jimmy Carter...

I'm off to Eilat for a long weekend. Happy Hannukah! And Pre-Merry Xmas and Kwanza. Oh and of course...Festivus.

-E

Man Day 2K6

Sometimes school sucks. There's a lot of pressure, stress, readings, tests, papers, weird people, and even weirder people who make the weird people look cool.

And I chose this voluntarily.

Therefore, in order to relieve some mid-term stress, about 20 of us organized the first-ever Hebrew University Man Day. This included early morning ATVing across a random industrial park in Bet Shemesh, then some paintballing near Herzliah, followed by an all-you-can-eat, coma-inducing steak extravaganza at a Brazilian steakhouse in Ramat Gan. Yes, there are steakhouses in Israel. Damn good ones too.

What, you ask, is particularly Israeli about this alleged Man Day? Absolutely nothing. But I thought I'd send some pictures along to show that not all the guns here in Israel fire live ammunition.

-E


The Fleet.



The Crew.




Me and Yoann. Yoann grew up in Marseille which
instantly makes him cooler than 99% of the people on
the trip. Except for the rabbi-dude you'll see in a few pictures.



Self-portrait. Look at my cool helmet. LOOK AT IT!!!



Drew enjoying one of his favorite pastimes.



What kind of bad-ass biker smiles?



Drinking on the way to paintballing.
This explains a LOT about the quality
of our aim once we actually starting shooting.



Haha, I love this picture: a bunch of tough guys.
And a rabbi who looks totally clueless. My man rocks!



Our "spiritual guru" (aka sugar daddy) Jeff Seidel.
He got DESTROYED! How's the paint tasting?!



Me and Drew, post-gun battle. Drew claims he had
28 "kills." But I don't think it counts when you shoot
yourself. And why won't this comment stay un-underlined?



Seidel pointing to a wound he provided one of our friends.
He's not pointing to our friend's crotch. At least I don't think he is...



The restaurant said we almost emptied out the meat locker.
By the end of the night, the table had consumed almost
60 pounds worth of steaks. Good work men!

Guess What's Out?

In case anyone dares to think that I've totally sold out to all things Israeli...a friendly reminder that my allegiance will always lie with you-know-who...

New Greatest Hits Album Out!!!!!



Please buy this record. Bono and the boys could use the money.

Mmmm Indian Rooster!

Tarnegol Hodu = Indian Rooster.

That's what was on the menu Thursday night as I celebrated Thanksgiving with a few hundred of my closest Hebrew U friends at a big Hillel dinner at a hotel in Jeru. "Indian Rooster" is what they call turkey here in Israel. Frankly, I didn't care what they called it, I was ready to throw down cause Thanksgiving dinner is my time to shine.

Ok so there was no cranberry sauce, no stuffing, no mashed potatotes, no pumpkin pie, no pecan pie, no football, or most of the other traditional trimmings. But there was Indian Rooster, a DJ, a lot of wine, mimes, clowns, and...the hora! Haha, at one point I was like "Is this Thanksgiving or did I accidentally walk into the Goldberg bar-mitzvah?"

Whatever, it was a good time. Picture time:






Pre-wine pic with Drew.


Pre-wine pic II...with Ilan and Nati.


What? YOUR Thanksgiving dinner didn't
include mimes, clowns, and jugglers?


Awkward moment with my French roommates.


Mmmm, Indian Rooster. And yes, I'm wearing a
sweater vest. Deal with it.


Good times with the French kid and wine.


"Yes I'll have the turkey, stuffing, and some hora."


Me and Drew eating each other's cake. Don't ask.


Emily, Drew, and me. Emily is the girl.


Mike, Drew, Me. Drunk.

So that's what a makshift Israeli Thanksgiving looked like. Happy Turkey Day! May your leftovers be plentiful. And, if you still have some stuffing left over when I come home in February...lemme know.

-E

Two News Stories I Hope You Didn't Miss This Week...

I hate to put a damper on everyone's jolly Turkey weekend, but considering the Thanksgiving "feast" I went to included no cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes (or, as my adorably naive French mom calls them, "smashed potatoes"), or pies, I feel the need to vent/educate.

Check out these two news stories that hopefully did not slip under your radars...

First, from the "Glad the U.N. is Doing Its Job" file...




Iran and Syria Helping Hizballah Rearm
Time Magazine
Friday, Nov. 24, 2006

Iran is smuggling weapons through Syria to re-arm Lebanese allies Hizballah, despite renewed efforts by United Nations peacekeepers and the Lebanese army to seal off the mountain borders with Syria in the wake of last summer's war between the Shi'ite militia and Israel, according to reports by Saudi and Israeli intelligence sources that have been confirmed by western diplomats in Beirut.

Israeli military officials in Tel Aviv say that Hizballah replenished nearly half of its pre-war stockpiles of short-range missiles and small arms. But western diplomats in Beirut say these calculations under-estimate the weapons flow and that Hizballah has now filled its war chest with over 20,000 short-range missiles—a similar amount to what they had at the start of the conflict, during which the group is believed to have fired over 3,000 rockets at Israel.



"The Iranian pipeline through Syria was already working during the war," despite constant Israeli bombing raids on the roads into Lebanon from Syria, this Beirut source said. Officially, Syria and Iran deny that they're supplying weapons to Hizballah.

As for the Shi'ite group itself, when asked about receiving a new shipment of arms from Syria and Iran, a spokesman told TIME, without elaborating, "We have more than enough weapons if Israel tries to attack us again."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And now...from Paris, the city that brought us Ilan Halimi's sadistic torture and brutal murder(http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/ShArt.jhtml?itemNo=684462&contrassID=19! I love when the French point the finger at how "racist" America is...then stuff like this happens in the City of Light:

PARIS, Nov 24, 2006 (AFP) - A French police officer — a black man in plain clothes — shot dead a Paris-Saint Germain football fan after being turned on by a mob during racist violence that followed the team’s defeat by Israeli side Hapoel Tel-Aviv.

Antoine Granomort, who was in custody Friday morning, fired his handgun into a threatening crowd near the Parc des Princes stadium late Thursday after seeking to defend a French fan of the Israeli club from attack, police and witnesses said.

A 24-year-old man was killed and a 26-year-old who was wounded is in serious condition in hospital, police said. Five fans were in police custody Friday morning and face possible charges for 'racist and anti-Semitic insults', police said.

"Four young people presumably from the Jewish community were rounded on by a group of supporters of PSG. They decided to separate, and one of them Yanniv Hazout was chased by attackers ... The mob grew to some 100 people," said state prosecutor Jean-Claude Marin.

"A plain clothes officer from the transport police, Antoine Granomort, told Monsieur Hazout to stand behind him and then tried to keep the crowd away using his tear-gas canister.

"The crowd hurled insults — dirty Jew, dirty n_____ — and monkey cries and raised Nazi salutes. Some shouted ‘Le Pen for president’," he said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sure hope this stuff pisses you off...maybe to the point that you actually do something about it?

-E

The Unusual Suspects

I realize that, for some people, my living arrangements and roommates have been the source of confusion/interest/exasperation/curiosity, so I will set the record straight once and for all.

I live in an apartment-style dorm called the Student Village here on campus with four other guys. I can proudly say that we are all very good friends and it's been a lot of fun living together. Now with that said, it's worth mentioning that Avi and TJ (see bios) are moving out this weekend to get a 2-person dorm room in the building next door.

So the following bios for the residents of Student Village Building 6, Floor 9, Apt. 4 is accurate...until Saturday. Then please cross the names Avi and TJ off your lists. In alphabetical order:



Name: Avi Goldstein
Age: 27
Hometown: Boston, USA
Favorite Falafel Topping: stuff
Editor's Note: Nothing quite says "Hi I'm a Jew" like
the name "Avi Goldstein" does it? With a quiet confidence
and distinct maturity that both impresses and frightens, Avi is
the most likely candidate in the apartment to be hiding
a corpse under his bed. He is also the "absentee father" of
the apartment. He's never around, but when he is, his
presence demands a high level of attention.
At least, that's what the ladies tell me...



Name: Erik Levis
Age: 27 and 18 months
Hometown: Washington D.C., USA and Marseille, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: hot sauce and you.
Editor's Note: Why is this idiot smiling? Hey! It's a mug shot
you're not supposed to be smiling, dummy! Oh, and here's 10 shekles,
go buy yourself a razor and some shaving cream.



Name: Ilan Shalom
Age: 22
Hometown: Paris, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Hakol (in Hebrew "everything")
Editor's Note: This guy's last name is "shalom" but there's
nothing peaceful about a guy who annoys the holy hell out of
you 24 hours a day. Ilan fashions himself a singer, but I beg
you to ask what the windows in our apartment
(which nearly crack every time he carries a "tune") think.
But seriously, a great kid with a great heart. One of my two
little "freres," he lets me copy his Hebrew homework. How can
you go wrong with a guy like that?

Name: Natanel Bloch
Age: 21

Hometown: Strasbourg, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Humus, some vegetables, spices
Editor's Note: G-d should have added an 11th Commandment

banning "Nati" from speaking, moving, and especially, asking questions.

He walks into our rooms without knocking, eats all the food in the

apartment, borrows people's socks, is loud, can hardly do anything

for himself, can't sit still, has really weird hair, wears very

unusual clothing, and is a general nuisance. So why can't I hate him?

Charming to no end, the glass is always half full for the Nati, whom TJ

affectionately calls "Sparky." We're all big fans of Nati; how can you

hate a kid who is constantly smiling?

:
Name: TJ Herbert

Age: 26

Hometown: Seattle, USA

Favorite Falafel Topping: Nati

Editor's Note: Seriously, what's with the smiling?

Anyways, aside from the unusual ability to grab almost

any object with his toes, TJ is about as normal as it gets

around here. The lone goy of the apartment, TJ is a West Coaster

who's done some pretty cool things in his life. Just ask him about his

ex-girlfriend from his days as an English teacher in Taiwan.

TJ, whom Nati affectionately calls "Thomas Jefferson," will be vacating

our apartment this weekend in order to seek out greener pastures with

Avi in the building next door. We'll miss ya. Especially Sparky.

So that's the crew. And hopefully it's the last time I need to introduce everyone to a new set of roommates, cause I'm really tired of moving and learning new people's names. In the meantime, I'll keep everyone posted on our adventures...