Maccabi Haifa vs. Maccabi Netanya

Phew. Now that I've exhausted myself thinking about "important" stuff like security and safety, allow me to show you some pictures from the recent Maccabi Haifa/Maccabi Netanya football match I went to with my slightly insane cousins. Talk about "fans." I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. Being a part of a football/soccer match is an experience...even on the smaller scale of the Israeli Premier League. By the way, Haifa...the defending Israel League champs, got chumped 3-1 by Netanya.



Driving to the Haifa/Netanya match. This was a non-Haifa
fan's expression of discontent with my cousin's taunts
on the highway. You stay classy, Israel.



Driving to the match. No I'm not having "stomach" issues,
I'm focusing on not getting us killed. Israeli drivers
border on insane.



My cousins Elad and Roe. This was before the power
of Maccabi Haifa took them over.



The stadium in Netanya was "intimate." And by
"intimate" I mean "it sucked."



"Awww...my little cousins started a fire in the stands!
I'm so proud!"

Ahhh the big question...

So the million shekel question from everyone in the States has been:

"Erik, do you feel safe over there?"

First off, to those who have asked...thank you. It's very sweet.

Second, there are moments when I take offense at questions like that. "Do you think I would happily move to a place for two years if it was getting bombed every minute?" I wanna ask people. "Do you really believe everything you watch on TV? Give me some credit...I may be ballsy but I'm not stupid."

Then the other side of me understands why that question comes up. It's cause violence is, in fact, all you see on TV when it comes to Israel. This region fills a vacuum for news organizations: war. Violence = ratings = big bucks. The "script" that is the Israeli-Arab conflict is a highly profitable commodity for news organizations. Any deviation from the "script" is not seen as important, newsworthy, or profitable. I've seen this first-hand, having worked in newsrooms. But these aren't insider secrets. Unless you look for alternate sources of information, all you're ever gonna equate Israel with is: death, war, and terrorism. Statistically, Americans support Israel. But they aren't quite sure who or what Israel is.

And that sucks because life truly lives here. If it's one thing that I hope people come to understand about this place, it's that despite the circumstances, life really blooms here. Walking around, children seem so happy. They play with an uninhibited and intoxicating sense of joy and freedom. But I'm getting off point and "Israelis" is a whole other post for a whole other day.

So back to feeling safe. Yes I feel safe. Admittedly, I live in a bubble here at Hebrew University. The campus is guarded like Ft. Knox. And with good reason. In 2002, a suicide bomber blew himself up and murdered a bunch of kids at the Frank Sinatra cafeteria where I now eat lunch when I'm tired of the falafel at the take-out stand. It's an eerie feeling. I get depressed and furious every morning walking past the modest memorial. But I don't feel at risk.

Nor do I feel at risk when I go out in Jerusalem or Tel Aviv. And I go out. A lot (FYI, nargilla and Goldstar...great combo). Maybe I've become a little Israeli in the short time I've been here, but I just don't think about security that much anymore. Life is too short to be spent worrying about "which possible site is gonna be a target today." Do you realize how insane you'd drive yourself if you really did that every morning??? I'm having a hard enough time learning how to say "where are the bathrooms" in Hebrew.

So, yea, I feel safe.

Israeli wedding #1

The bride (who I don't really know) and the groom
(who I don't really know). I sure did get to know the
food, though.

Before last week, I thought I had been to a big wedding before. I was frighteningly wrong. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to "The Israeli Wedding Experience."

Last Sunday I was invited to the wedding of my mother's cousin's daughter, Dorit. I know her about as well as an OBGYN, which is to say not very well. No worries. I was invited because at some point our DNAs match up. In Israel that's more than enough of a reason to go to someone's wedding.

If an event could be tested for anabolic steroids, I think Israeli weddings would make Barry Bonds look like a toothpick. This thing was INSANE. We're talking over 500 guests, endless amounts of food (trust me), top-shelf liquor (trust me), and more dancing than you can imagine (unfortunately you can trust me there too). I think I started losing it when the Carnavale-style Brazilian dancers made their way to the dance floor.

Anways this was another slice of Israeli life I thought would be cool to share with eveyone. If ever you get an invite to go to an Israeli wedding, you GO. Don't think, don't collect $200...just go. It's worth it. Oh and by the way, 500 people for the wedding...that's considered SMALL.

Next entry...I get serious. But don't worry I'll be fun again after that.

Lyla tov,
Erik


And that was his SMALL hat!


Me, my great aunt Audette, and cousin Naama


Isaeli weddings = Erik goes to ulpan with a hangover
that could choke a mule.


As Owen Wilson told us in Meet The Fockers, they are under a "CHUUUPAH"

Where do I start?

Well, let's start with what I know: I'm here.

That's about as concrete a fact as I know these days. I've now been in Jerusalem roughly one week and so far I've done about a month's worth of stuff. Many weeks in New York, you can go a month without doing a week's worth of stuff, so this is an interesting turn of events.

So, to the best of my ability, I will try and recapture some of the highlights of the last 8 days:

Day 1: Get to campus. Meet the roommates of Idelson Dorm (left), who FOR THE RECORD, I love. In no particular order, they are:

Drew, 21, Philly: Meathead. My gym buddy, tennis buddy, going out buddy, drinking buddy, walk-to-ulpan buddy, but not My Buddy. That was a doll. And I never had dolls. He has a massive Star of David tattoo on his left shoulder. We scare people at the gym. Well, he does. I provide moral support. Anyways, if Drew didn't have a girlfriend, people would start wondering about us...

Jeff, 23, New York: Fratboy and Professional Napper. You thought YOU slept a lot in college? A really good guy who apparently got kicked out of GW for fighting, Jeff has a propensity for day-time snoozes which works out well for his nocturnal escapades.

Adam, 19, Seattle: The child of the suite, Adam is hopelessly naive, wonderfully charming, and a self-described "weirdo." I second that assessment. I call him "Junior" and other deragatory terms, mostly because he calls me "Gramps." But he's a cool kid, loves U2, and we sit next to each other in ulpan. He cheats off of me. Clearly not the brightest star in the sky.

Daniel, 22, Newcastle, England: What a bloody wanker! This nutcase "fancies" stuff all the time and says "cheers" at random moments. And if he "reckons" one more time, I'm gonna stuff his toothbrush, which is the only item he brought with him to Jerusalem, up his arse. Last Thursday, he bought a bag of potatoes because he felt bad leaving the mall we were in empty-handed. A bag of potatoes. See picture. But seriously folks, Daniel is a jewel. He's my roommate and a good guy to talk soccer with. But for Cripe's sake, the kid CANNOT grow a beard to save his life. He looks like a homeless man that I happen to let into my room. GO GRAB A SHAVE!!!


Jeff and Daniel. And a bag of potatoes

Brenton, 26 (but looks like he's 12), Somewhere Hick-ish, PA: Brenton is an enigma wrapped in a question mark, wrapped in the body of a 12 year old girl. As the resident Christian of the suite, Brenton can claim to be the only man not to be sliced up by a moyel at age 8 days. Good for him! Brenton is a Masters candidate in Middle Eastern Studies so he'll be here, like me, for 2 years. As adventurous as they come, he's already rolled to Bethlehem and speaks fluent Arabic. If anyone kills me in the suite, it will most likely be him. But otherwise, a loveable guy.

So that's the cast of characters in Idelson Dorm 44, Room 17. Feel free to swing by, it's a good time.

I know I told you I'd write about other highlights from Week 1, but my laptop's running out of juice and Drew is about to punch me in the throat if we don't get to the gym soon.

And yes... JERUSALEM IS SAFE AND GORGEOUS!!

L'ehitraot,
Erik


From left: Drew, Adam, Me, and Jeff (the ape in the back)

Day 1...

Well I just got to Tel Aviv. I'm exhausted, depleted, thrilled, excited, smelly (check that, very smelly), and this beard I'm sporting almost got me a free ticket to a "friendly" Israeli customs official. Nevertheless, I'm here safe and sound. Ben-Gurion airport is basically empty and I'm bored waiting for my ride to campus, so I'm taking advantage of the free WiFi hookup to make a quick entry.

Definite lowlight of the trip so far: the cardboard they tried to pass as "chicken" on my Israir flight. Yikes. Have you ever tasted bbq'd foot before? I think I now have. And it sucks.

Definite highlight of the trip so far: Having one of those people with the signs waiting for me ouside of baggage claim. Oh yes, Levis has arrived.




Anyways, I'm off to figure out where I'm living. I'll hopefully have more coherent remarks after a few hours sleep. Ciao.

Today's sign...

...that everything is right in the world.

From The Sun newspaper, in South Africa:

Hungary gets its kicks with Chuck Norris

August 02, 2006 Edition 2

Budapest - If Hungarian voters have their way, Budapest could become the home for the first bridge in the world to be named after action-movie star Chuck Norris.

The Ministry of Economy and Transport could well be kicking itself after the star yesterday became an early front-runner in an online poll organised by the ministry to name a new bridge across the Danube.

About 9 000 people have voted for the "Chuck Norris Bridge".

Hundreds of nominations have been put forward, many of them less than serious.

In second place, a few votes behind Norris, is Pato Pal, a character in a poem by Hungarian Sandor Petoffi.