A-crap-olis

So a lot of people have been asking me what my thoughts are on the Annapolis "peace" meeting that took place a few days ago.

Here's my short answer:

From Palestinian Media Watch (see story here: http://www.pmw.org.il/): "Just a day after Israeli and Palestinian leaders at the Annapolis peace conference pledged to negotiate a peace treaty by the end of 2008, an information clip produced by the Palestinian Authority Central Bureau of Statistics and rebroadcast today on Mahmoud Abbas-controlled Palestinian television, shows a map in which Israel is painted in the colors of the Palestinian flag, symbolizing Israel turned into a Palestinian state."

This, my friends, is why there will be no peace anytime soon. "Peace" as we understand it in the States and the West, is very different from what "peace" means in the Arab world.

Now, I want peace as much as anyone, and am willing to make painful concessions to reach it. But how can you negotiate with people who don't think you should exist? In essence you're not negotiating peace. You're negotiating the terms of your own destruction. And correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like the opposite of peace.

That's why I'm not convinced the whole Annapolis thing is gonna work. The Palestinians have some legitimate concerns and they should be brought to the table. But, in the grand scheme of things, those are small logistical issues. Occupation, security fences, water, etc...Those are all things that can get solved in a few days. No question about it.

The real question is: Can the Arabs handle the fact that Israel is a Jewish nation? Why don't we ask Saeb Erekat, the chief negotiator for the Palestine Liberation Organization:

Asked by The Jerusalem Post whether he recognizes that the Jewish nation has historic rights here, Erekat said: "Israel has rights in the Middle East and the majority of Israelis are Jews. And when we recognized Israel, we recognized the composition of the state." Erekat had told an Arabic satellite TV interviewer earlier this week that the Palestinian Authority "will never acknowledge Israel's Jewish identity."

-The Jerusalem Post, November 16, 2007 (http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1195127517597&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull)

Lesson: don't be fooled by the whole "it's the occupation" BS. The occupation should end and can end tomorrow if that were truly the fundamental issue. The reason there's no peace today is clear. Just listen to its enemies...

-Erik

Erik's web-log...a "blog" if you will is famous!

(Editor's Note: Erik is away right now. This is Erik's blog writing. Erik doesn't know that I can write on my own. He thinks he's the one pulling all the strings...well he's dead wrong).

Be on the lookout...I'm gonna be famous!

Erik just gave his first interview to an Israeli television production company about me. The interview is part of an up-coming TV series on new immigrants in Israel and people (like him) who are here for extended stays. "What's your motivation for being in Israel?"-kinda show.

Erik did the entire interview in Hebrew. And he sounded like an idiot. But I give him credit for trying.

But more importantly, I will now be featured on television all over North America in February. Finally, my day has arrived! I'll let you know when and where you should tune in.

Ugh, I'm sure Erik will be back soon with plenty of dumb pictures of him roasting a turkey or something.

-Erik's Blog

Thanksgiving 2K7

I hope everyone had a wonderful and artery-clogging Thanksgiving. Over here in the Middle East, we also had Thanksgiving. Readers of this blog (and by "readers," I mean "my parents, my brother Ariel, and Sean McMahon") will remember last year's entry about Turkey Day 2K6, which consisted of a carnival-like fiesta complete with clowns, mimes, a bar-mitzvah band, and no cranberry sauce.

This year a bunch of us M.A. students decided to class it up. We got together at my friend Jay's house and had ourselves a potluck Thanksgiving. All the trimmings were there, including my home-made thyme and sausage stuffing (not gonna lie--it was amazing and I have the pictures to prove it).

Thanks to those of you who inquired about my well-being on this most family of holidays. Everything was delicious and made with love. My friend Jason even brought over his laptop so we could watch some NFL football!

And here are some pics:


Who cooks with a tweed jacket on? And who points to the
camera while cooking while wearing a tweed jacket?



Tastes like chicken.



It looked a lot better...



...as part of the complete package.



Robbie gleefully getting our bird ready for carving.



Football on Thanksgiving!!! On the internet :( Better than nothing.



Our table...complete with pandemonium,
laughter, and indigestion.



Me, Lee, and Jason. Jason decided it would be
"cool" to wear a pinstripe suit with an orange
sweater underneath. I wasn't going to tell him
he looked funny. Mostly cause I was borrowing
his tweed jacket.



Kobi, Steph, Hilla, corn.



Jay carving the hell outta that turkey.



My own personal Thanksgiving tradition: the turkey leg.
Makes me feel like Henry VIII. Not sure why that's a goal
of mine...but it just is.



Kobi, Steph, Diet Coke.

Jay popping in to say "shalom."

Haha...ha..........ha?

The nice thing about Jerusalem is that, for people like me who have not quite mastered Hebrew, there are plenty of entertainment options in English. The bad thing is most of them suck.

Case in point: Off The Wall Comedy Club.

Off The Wall is Jerusalem's "premiere" comedy club. Of course, when you have no competition you can basically label yourself however you want. It's like saying you're the biggest ladies' man at a gay pride parade.

Anyways, I ventured over to Off The Wall a few nights ago to see what was going on because I don't criticize things I've never witnessed. Plus I needed to laugh. Now, don't get me wrong...I didn't have unrealistic expectations. It's not like I was waiting for Dave Chappelle to pop out from the behind the stage, kiss a mezuzah, and start doing a 30-minute Clayton Bigsby act.

As it turns out, my bargain-basement expectations we met! The three acts we saw that night were real troopers and I give them a lot of credit for living out their stand up comedian/Zionist dreams. But they were not very good. They were shticky, predictable, and desperate. Frankly, I could have gone up there, read two or three chapters from The Diary of Ann Frank, and gotten more laughs.

The most interesting part of the night though, were the people in the room. You have to understand that I'm used to Manhattan-type crowds; a mixture of races, ethnicities, attention-spans, levels of intelligence, and levels of rudeness. On the complete other end of that spectrum was Off The Wall:

First off, I walked in to a room full of yamaka-wearing white Jews. I was among the only guys there whose entire head you could actually see.

Second, the people were almost all adult-age Americans who had made aliyah (immigrated to Israel). It's like I was sitting at the adult's table at the Goldenfarbergenstein bar mitzvah. Or some other variation of a generic Jewish American name.

Anyways, I could sum up this enlightening experience by saying: "Nice try, Jerusalem!" Honestly, it was a valiant attempt. But next time I want to laugh in Jerusalem, I'll skip Off The Wall and read up on the peace process with the Arabs...

Lehitraot,

E