Not quite Bayside High...

Time to pack my #2 pencils and Saved By The Bell lunchbox 'cause school started last week! I know what you're thinking...it's about damn time. Even Zack Morris went to class more than Levis. Well, the reason Israeli schools are just starting now (while American universities are already 20 kegs deep into the semester) is that we start after the major Jewish holidays. No point in going to class for a week, then taking a month off.

My courses, for those bored enough to have read to this point, are as follows:

-Hebrew
-Sociological Theories and Israeli Society
-Israeli Society and Politics
-Multiple Voices of Israeli Society
-Consumer Culture and Mass Media in Israel
-Iran's Religious Fighters (which I dropped for reasons you will clearly see in the last picture in this post)
-Political Theories in Israel (which I dropped)

So far, my classes have been excellent. There's a ton of reading, but it's fairly manageable. By the way, I finally figured out where my tuition money is going towards: aesthetics. The campus here is gorgeous...very well manicured and considerably nicer than my alma mater Syracuse (speaking of which, I heard that Darwin's is closing! Now I officially wouldn't recognize Marshall Street anymore. Wait...it is still called Marshall Street, right?)

Anyways, here are some pics of the campus here at Hebrew University:


The Forum, our Student Union. I like palm trees.



The Frank Sinatra cafeteria, which got blown up by terrorists a
few years ago, is on the left. BTW, Old Blue Eyes...BIG fan of Israel's.



The cafe area, aka Procastinator's Corner, outside the Rothberg
International School, where I take all my classes.



Outside shot of Rothberg.



Random campus pic.


Sadly, many of my wild and crazy adventures will have to go on hiatus for the time being. After all, I came here to study (I think). But there's quite a kooky cast of characters in my program so I'm sure the stories will keep pouring out. In the meantime, if you ever feel like your life is confusing, I suggest you take a look at the picture below. Welcome to the wondeful world of Iranian political hierarchy:


Iran 101: This was our professor's attempt at drawing a diagram
of Iran's political structure which is a complicated network of religious
and non-religious authorities. Riiiiiight. This diagram gave me a
migraine. I dropped the class but will attend regularly as a guest "listener."


Jealous??? Yea I didn't think so. Anyways, next post I'll introduce everyone to my four new roommates. Yes, I moved again. And yes, I have new roommates. These guys are just as nutty as the last bunch. Let the games (and studying) begin...

-E

Sucks...

So for the last few months I've been waxing poetic about the virtues of Israel and how it continues to charm me with each passing day. But in an effort to make it clear that I do not work for the Israeli government or its Ministry of Tourism, I will now go off about a few things that have COMPLETELY pissed me off about this place:

-Red Tape: If the Greeks invented the concept of "beaurocracy," then Israelis have absolutely perfected it. You have no idea how difficult it is to get simple, mundane things done around here. I know, I know. This is not the U.S. and I shouldn't expect Israel to be like America. Fair enough. But it's not just me who's complaining...Israelis can't even stand how backwards some of this stuff can be. Case in point: I need to get a student visa for my extended stay. After asking 25 different people how to start the process, I got 25 different answers. All I know is that I have to call the Ministry of the Interior to set up an appointment for the visa because I'm not allowed to simply walk into the office. Unfortunately, no one picks up the phone at the Ministry of the Interior. Ever. So I can't walk in to their precious office, and they won't answer the phone so how can I make an appointment? Great. Deportation, here I come!

In the States, if you work hard and bust your a$$, you usually can get ahead of the game. Here, you jump through hoops and work hard just to get what's owed to you. Grrr...

My friend Mark made a great point the other day when I was complaining about how administrations here are completely inept: "I really don't understand how these Israelis keep winning wars." Haha, indeed.


Me negotiating the Israeli beaurocracy.
I actually look like this now. The nose
is drawn to scale.


Lack of Politeness: This is kind of a weird one for me because, while a lot of people get offended, I don't really mind it that much. Ok, to be fair, the stereotype of the "rude Israeli" is somewhat born of reality. Israelis yell, scream, complain, and can be very rude. Not all of them. But enough of them act like that to merit the stereotype. Foreigners, particularly people from Western countries, cringe at the gritty nature of Israelis' social behavior. Bus stations provide the quintessential example of Israeli Social Behavior. You don't get in line at the bus station. You push and shove your way to the front and worry later about that toddler you nearly decapitated or the boiling latte you just spilled onto that old man's genitals. A total free-for-all. Get on the bus first, say sorry later.

I can understand where the rudeness comes from. Israelis are highly-stressed, high-anxiety people with a low threshold for BS. Israel has been under attack since it was born in 1948. Imagine having neighbors who want you dead. Would you worry about saying "please" and "thank you" all the time? It's an existential extension of the bus station: survive first, say sorry later.

The truth is, Israelis are apparently getting better at being less harsh. It used to be much worse, but Western influence is starting to infiltrate Israeli society, including social norms. Young Israelis don't want to be seen as "those rude-a$$ Israelis." Whatever, I still kinda like the rudeness, you bastard.


"How ruuude!" Stephanie Tanner
wouldn't last a second in Israel.
I hear she's a meth addict now.
Good for her!


Going-out Dress Code: People here dress like morons. Going out here is like watching a fashion show where the runway models are brain-dead crackheads who wear, and sniff, too much hair gel. The "in" hair style for Israeli guys consists of shaving the sides of the head, spiking the top, wearing jeans that reveal a bit too much twig and berries, and sporting some kind of shirt from Castro. Very Euro-trash. Emphasis on the "trash."

Dunkin' Donuts: Yea, there are none.


Never thought I'd miss fried dough and confectioner's
sugar so much.


Israeli pizza: Don't even get me started.


What I wouldn't do for a red and white checkered tablecloth right now.


Doctor ______: Every other store here is named "Doctor (fill in the blank)." In Jerusalem, there's Doctor Pizza, Doctor Sandwich, Doctor Pita. In Tel Aviv, there's Doctor Shakshuka. As if I'm being cured of my hunger pains by these lunatics. Hello!? Your food ain't that good! I'm not sure where these doctors went to medical school, but I think the government should look into the kinds of PhDs they're handing out. 'Cause I get more sick walking out of those places than walking in.


That says Dr. Shakshuka in Hebrew.
Does that dude look a medical practitioner to you?

Anywas, I know I'm forgetting a bunch of other minor things that have given me aneurisms so far. But those are the highlights. Look, life in Israel is not a sugar-coated existence. It's a country that is still growing up (think of how far along America was after 65 years...slavery ring any bells?) and finding its footing in a part of the world where nobody wants it to live a normal life, if any life at all. I've been taking all these "negatives" in stride and putting them in context. In the grand scheme of things...they're not so bad. After all, I'm still here aren't I?

-E

The Wild Weeks That Were...

Editor's Note: If there are tons and tons of sppeling mistackes and grammatical errors in this latest entry, please do not fret. These have been two of the longest, craziest, exhausting, and exhilirating weeks I have spent in a long time. Proceed with caution.


Hi everyone, I'm back. The three of you who read this blog with any kind of regularity will notice that it's been a while since I last posted. The reasons for this are threefold: 1) I've been totally consumed with final exams for my Hebrew ulpan, which is officially over (collective sigh of relief). 2) The Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and Succot have kept me out of my dorm room, away from a computer, and on various treks. 3) I'm completely exhausted. So I'll just let everyone know what I've been up to this last two weeks, cause it's really been a wild ride.

Two Thursdays ago, me and four friends celebrated the end of ulpan by taking a three-day mini vacation to the gorgeous Egyptian resort town of Dahab in the Sinai Peninsula (see map).The goal was simple: we wanted to go scuba diving in Dahab, one of the great dive destinations in the world.



Map of the Sinai.


Our trip started Thursday when the five of us (my friends Josh, his girlfriend Laticia, her brother Steve, and a guy named Ryan) left Jerusalem and made a beeline for Eilat, the southernmost Israeli town, which also sits on the Red Sea. From there, we walked across the Taba border crossing and entered into....(drumroll please) Egypt. From there, we took a two-hour cab ride to Dahab, which cost us 10 bucks. More on the affordability of Egypt in a bit.

Dahab is located halfway down the eastern coast of the Sinai on the Red Sea. From the beach, you can actually clearly see Saudi Arabia. That in and of itself was enough to make me say "damn, I'm REALLY in the Middle East." Honestly, it was a little freaky. First of all, cause it's SAUDI ARABIA. And second, it's a little weird to be standing on one side of the Red Sea in Egypt where Jews are (relatively) welcomed and look out about 25 km to the other side to Saudi Arabia, where Jews are considered about as evil as a woman with a driver's license. Needless to say, we didn't venture out anywhere near Saudi Arabia, but it was a really cool feeling to know that if I wanted to toilet-paper the Saudi coast, I probably could have.

Dahab is an interesting place. It, along with the rest of the Sinai Peninsula, actually belonged to Israel for a short time following the 1967 War. Israel returned it to Egypt in exchange for peace. On the ride down to Eilat, an Israeli woman we were talking with made an intersting point when she mentioned that she was born in the Sinai when it was Israeli, and now her birthplace belongs to another country. Welcome to the Middle East...



Anyways, for all its beauty, Dahab is no stranger to trouble. This past April, Egyptian terrorists set off bombs on the promenade and killed over 20 people (mostly Egyptians). Yes, I knew this going in. It didn't stop us from wanting to go diving there. Most people think I'm insane for going to Dahab, knowing full well that it got blown up by terrorists six months ago. But then again, the same thing can be said about Jerusalem. This WHOLE area has a terrorist problem. It's not just here in Israel. Clearly, terrorists are after more than just Israel. But that's another post for another time.

We spent our days diving some of the most spectacular coral reefs I have ever seen. Anyone who knows me, knows that I find tranquility and peace when I'm 30 meters under water and this was no different. We did four dives in four different sites in two days: The Lighthouse, Eel Garden, The Blue Hole (world famous), and The Islands. The Blue Hole is famous and infamous for the lives it has taken by overzealous divers. Basically, some divers thought they could follow the coral wall that surrounds the massive blue hole all the way down to its bottom. Problem is, the bottom is over 600 meters down and divers have gotten nitrogen narcosis after diving below 100 meters and drowned after running out of air (nitrogen narcosis apparently feels like being high or drunk; you lose all your bearings and understanding of your surroundings).

Fortunately for me, I prefer geetting tipsy off pints of Guiness and not death-inducing scuba dives. So I was never in danger.



























So my initial take on Sinai is as follows: stunning physical beauty but the locals can be both charming and infuriatingly annoying. Walking along the main promenade, restauranteurs walk up to every single tourist in hopes of wooing them to dine at their establishment. The first day, it was charming. They all asked where we were from, they spoke every language you can imagine, and they seemed genuinely concerned for our well-being. But by the second day, it felt like harrassment. They wouldn't leave us alone. They'd follow us down the street to try to convince us to eat at their restaurants, and when we finally had enough and said "no thanks" with a twinge of anger, they made us feel as if we were being the a-holes.

The food in Egypt was really good. And cheap. Holy hell was it cheap. We ate like kings. At dinner, we ate four-course meals complete with pita, salads, hummus, grilled vegetables, rice, soup, and grilled fish that was so fresh I'm pretty sure it asked me not to eat it. Grand total for said meal: 5 dollars. Not per item. Grand total, per person. Arab culture is big on hospitality and the restaurants we ate in were no exception. We feasted while lounging on cushioned seats overlooking the Red Sea. An incredible experience. Did I mention dinner cost us 5 FREAKING dollars?






A couple of other mini-highlights/commentaries from Dahab:

*The Sinai night sky: Maybe I've been living in big cities too long, but I was blown away by the clarity and beauty of the stars in the night sky in the Sinai. It actually felt like I was in another world.

*President (for life) Mubarak: As far as democracy goes, Egypt doesn't appear to quite get it yet. Our first night, we were just shooting the sh*t with one of the young Egyptian guys who runs the hostel we were staying in. At one point, Ryan asked him what he thought of Hosni Mubarak, Egypt's "president" who's actually been in power for the better part of 30 years. The guy kind of smiled and said: "I can only say nice things about our President. That's all I'll say." Hmmm...

*Business is Business: Our first morning, while eating breakfast, we were approached by the most adorable little 6-year-old Egyptian girl any of us could have dreamed to see. She was selling bracelets. But by "selling," I actually mean "pushing." This adorable little child turned out to be the anti-christ. For about ten minutes she just stood there silently, trying to guilt-trip us into buying a bracelet. And when we tried to explain to her we didn't speak Arabic, she started speaking to us in English. Then in Hebrew. Then in French. This little punk couldn't cross the street without an adult but she could con tourists in at least four different languages. Amazing. Remember, she's SIX YEARS OLD! When Laticia finally gave in and offered a lower price for a bracelet, the little girl looked at her, shrugged her shoulders and as she started walking away from us, said: "Sorry, business is business." We were floored. I will never trust a pre-schooler again.

*Israel really is a Western country: I might be living in the Middle East, but it didn't really hit home until I got to Egypt. The second we crossed the border, there was a very palpable feeling that we were no longer in a Western-style country. You don't realize just how western Israel is until you leave the backyard and go play with the neighbors. It's as if you're living in New York, drive to the border, cross it, and then suddently find yourself in Moscow. It's that striking. I'm not saying it's good or bad, it's just an observation. The cultural differences between Israel and her next-door neighbors are profound.

At any rate, we left Egypt and made the journey back to Israel just in time for that all-too familiar Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I, of course, had done nothing wrong all year, so I had nothing to atone for (uhhh, ;) riiiight). I fasted and spent some quality time with my cousins in Bersheva. The next day I made the two-hour trip north to Jerusalem where I studied most of Tuesday and Wednesday.

Wednesday night, I went to a wedding with my friend Meredith who was in from New York to see her step-brother get hitched. Of course, it was an Israeli wedding, so the conservative estimate was 400 guests. These Israelis suuuure do like to party.

So there you have it, my last few weeks wrapped up into a happy little blog posting. I'll be much better about keeping this thing updated now that I'm back on a normal schedule. So for now, lyla tov.

-E