Mmmm Indian Rooster!

Tarnegol Hodu = Indian Rooster.

That's what was on the menu Thursday night as I celebrated Thanksgiving with a few hundred of my closest Hebrew U friends at a big Hillel dinner at a hotel in Jeru. "Indian Rooster" is what they call turkey here in Israel. Frankly, I didn't care what they called it, I was ready to throw down cause Thanksgiving dinner is my time to shine.

Ok so there was no cranberry sauce, no stuffing, no mashed potatotes, no pumpkin pie, no pecan pie, no football, or most of the other traditional trimmings. But there was Indian Rooster, a DJ, a lot of wine, mimes, clowns, and...the hora! Haha, at one point I was like "Is this Thanksgiving or did I accidentally walk into the Goldberg bar-mitzvah?"

Whatever, it was a good time. Picture time:






Pre-wine pic with Drew.


Pre-wine pic II...with Ilan and Nati.


What? YOUR Thanksgiving dinner didn't
include mimes, clowns, and jugglers?


Awkward moment with my French roommates.


Mmmm, Indian Rooster. And yes, I'm wearing a
sweater vest. Deal with it.


Good times with the French kid and wine.


"Yes I'll have the turkey, stuffing, and some hora."


Me and Drew eating each other's cake. Don't ask.


Emily, Drew, and me. Emily is the girl.


Mike, Drew, Me. Drunk.

So that's what a makshift Israeli Thanksgiving looked like. Happy Turkey Day! May your leftovers be plentiful. And, if you still have some stuffing left over when I come home in February...lemme know.

-E

Two News Stories I Hope You Didn't Miss This Week...

I hate to put a damper on everyone's jolly Turkey weekend, but considering the Thanksgiving "feast" I went to included no cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes (or, as my adorably naive French mom calls them, "smashed potatoes"), or pies, I feel the need to vent/educate.

Check out these two news stories that hopefully did not slip under your radars...

First, from the "Glad the U.N. is Doing Its Job" file...




Iran and Syria Helping Hizballah Rearm
Time Magazine
Friday, Nov. 24, 2006

Iran is smuggling weapons through Syria to re-arm Lebanese allies Hizballah, despite renewed efforts by United Nations peacekeepers and the Lebanese army to seal off the mountain borders with Syria in the wake of last summer's war between the Shi'ite militia and Israel, according to reports by Saudi and Israeli intelligence sources that have been confirmed by western diplomats in Beirut.

Israeli military officials in Tel Aviv say that Hizballah replenished nearly half of its pre-war stockpiles of short-range missiles and small arms. But western diplomats in Beirut say these calculations under-estimate the weapons flow and that Hizballah has now filled its war chest with over 20,000 short-range missiles—a similar amount to what they had at the start of the conflict, during which the group is believed to have fired over 3,000 rockets at Israel.



"The Iranian pipeline through Syria was already working during the war," despite constant Israeli bombing raids on the roads into Lebanon from Syria, this Beirut source said. Officially, Syria and Iran deny that they're supplying weapons to Hizballah.

As for the Shi'ite group itself, when asked about receiving a new shipment of arms from Syria and Iran, a spokesman told TIME, without elaborating, "We have more than enough weapons if Israel tries to attack us again."

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And now...from Paris, the city that brought us Ilan Halimi's sadistic torture and brutal murder(http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/ShArt.jhtml?itemNo=684462&contrassID=19! I love when the French point the finger at how "racist" America is...then stuff like this happens in the City of Light:

PARIS, Nov 24, 2006 (AFP) - A French police officer — a black man in plain clothes — shot dead a Paris-Saint Germain football fan after being turned on by a mob during racist violence that followed the team’s defeat by Israeli side Hapoel Tel-Aviv.

Antoine Granomort, who was in custody Friday morning, fired his handgun into a threatening crowd near the Parc des Princes stadium late Thursday after seeking to defend a French fan of the Israeli club from attack, police and witnesses said.

A 24-year-old man was killed and a 26-year-old who was wounded is in serious condition in hospital, police said. Five fans were in police custody Friday morning and face possible charges for 'racist and anti-Semitic insults', police said.

"Four young people presumably from the Jewish community were rounded on by a group of supporters of PSG. They decided to separate, and one of them Yanniv Hazout was chased by attackers ... The mob grew to some 100 people," said state prosecutor Jean-Claude Marin.

"A plain clothes officer from the transport police, Antoine Granomort, told Monsieur Hazout to stand behind him and then tried to keep the crowd away using his tear-gas canister.

"The crowd hurled insults — dirty Jew, dirty n_____ — and monkey cries and raised Nazi salutes. Some shouted ‘Le Pen for president’," he said.

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I sure hope this stuff pisses you off...maybe to the point that you actually do something about it?

-E

The Unusual Suspects

I realize that, for some people, my living arrangements and roommates have been the source of confusion/interest/exasperation/curiosity, so I will set the record straight once and for all.

I live in an apartment-style dorm called the Student Village here on campus with four other guys. I can proudly say that we are all very good friends and it's been a lot of fun living together. Now with that said, it's worth mentioning that Avi and TJ (see bios) are moving out this weekend to get a 2-person dorm room in the building next door.

So the following bios for the residents of Student Village Building 6, Floor 9, Apt. 4 is accurate...until Saturday. Then please cross the names Avi and TJ off your lists. In alphabetical order:



Name: Avi Goldstein
Age: 27
Hometown: Boston, USA
Favorite Falafel Topping: stuff
Editor's Note: Nothing quite says "Hi I'm a Jew" like
the name "Avi Goldstein" does it? With a quiet confidence
and distinct maturity that both impresses and frightens, Avi is
the most likely candidate in the apartment to be hiding
a corpse under his bed. He is also the "absentee father" of
the apartment. He's never around, but when he is, his
presence demands a high level of attention.
At least, that's what the ladies tell me...



Name: Erik Levis
Age: 27 and 18 months
Hometown: Washington D.C., USA and Marseille, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: hot sauce and you.
Editor's Note: Why is this idiot smiling? Hey! It's a mug shot
you're not supposed to be smiling, dummy! Oh, and here's 10 shekles,
go buy yourself a razor and some shaving cream.



Name: Ilan Shalom
Age: 22
Hometown: Paris, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Hakol (in Hebrew "everything")
Editor's Note: This guy's last name is "shalom" but there's
nothing peaceful about a guy who annoys the holy hell out of
you 24 hours a day. Ilan fashions himself a singer, but I beg
you to ask what the windows in our apartment
(which nearly crack every time he carries a "tune") think.
But seriously, a great kid with a great heart. One of my two
little "freres," he lets me copy his Hebrew homework. How can
you go wrong with a guy like that?

Name: Natanel Bloch
Age: 21

Hometown: Strasbourg, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Humus, some vegetables, spices
Editor's Note: G-d should have added an 11th Commandment

banning "Nati" from speaking, moving, and especially, asking questions.

He walks into our rooms without knocking, eats all the food in the

apartment, borrows people's socks, is loud, can hardly do anything

for himself, can't sit still, has really weird hair, wears very

unusual clothing, and is a general nuisance. So why can't I hate him?

Charming to no end, the glass is always half full for the Nati, whom TJ

affectionately calls "Sparky." We're all big fans of Nati; how can you

hate a kid who is constantly smiling?

:
Name: TJ Herbert

Age: 26

Hometown: Seattle, USA

Favorite Falafel Topping: Nati

Editor's Note: Seriously, what's with the smiling?

Anyways, aside from the unusual ability to grab almost

any object with his toes, TJ is about as normal as it gets

around here. The lone goy of the apartment, TJ is a West Coaster

who's done some pretty cool things in his life. Just ask him about his

ex-girlfriend from his days as an English teacher in Taiwan.

TJ, whom Nati affectionately calls "Thomas Jefferson," will be vacating

our apartment this weekend in order to seek out greener pastures with

Avi in the building next door. We'll miss ya. Especially Sparky.

So that's the crew. And hopefully it's the last time I need to introduce everyone to a new set of roommates, cause I'm really tired of moving and learning new people's names. In the meantime, I'll keep everyone posted on our adventures...

Croatia 4, Israel 3

Stupid Croatia.

Israel's national soccer (football) team is trying to qualify for the 2008 European Championship, which is the second biggest soccer event on the planet after the World Cup (stupid Italy). The latest round of qualifying matches was held last week and Israel played host to Croatia, a very good team, but potentially beatable the way Israel had been playing lately.


Pre-match photo-op with roommates/weirdos Ilan and Natanel.
Ilan is doing some kind of odd geisha thing with the free fans they
were giving out. Disturbingly, he's actually weirder in person.
Don't even get me started on Nati.



Our seats at Ramat Gan Stadium in...you guessed it...Ramat Gan.

So, armed with Israeli flags and several pints of beer, some friends and I made our way to Ramat Gan (just north of Tel Aviv) to watch the match. It was a great time, we yelled and cheered, learned and used Hebrew curse words (take a wild guess what "ben-zona" means...here's a hint: it rhymes with "son of a witch"), ate gross Israeli hotdogs, and cried when Croatia whooped Israel 4-3. The game wasn't actually as close as the score indicates but the Israelis definitely put up a good fight.

The soccer match is one of the quintessential places to see "Israel" in action. It's basically a classroom to study sociology, culture, and consumerism. Plus the food is cheap. Anyways, I'd write more about it but I have homework to do. Haha, "homework"...when's the last time you said that?

L'ehitraot,
E

Me and Nati hugging it out and wiping away the tears after the loss.

Halloween 2K6, Israel-style

Ahhh Halloween...that wonderful time of year when pumpkins get gutted, candy gets poisoned, and girls get pneumonia from attending NYC parties virtually clothing-less (not that I'm complaining). Halloween is a slightly different experience in Israel because, well, it doesn't exist here. The big "dress-up" holiday is Purim in the spring when everyone goes hogwild. But that didn't stop my friend Drew from hosting a massive Halloween party in the dorms.


I don't even know want to know what Drew and his roommates
had to do to clean their place up in the morning.

I faced an uphill battle in deciding what to dress up as. I was limited in terms of time and access to satisfactory costume material. Plus, I had to live up to an extensive list of recent costumes that were both cheap and put together at the very last possible second:

Vampire With Bad Teeth (2002), "All That and A Bag of Chips" (2003), my Grandpa (2004), and Bono (2005). With a reputation to uphold, I managed to pull another rabbit out of my hat: I went as Toby the Hebrew University Laundry Guy.

Quick story on Toby: He's a funny/shady/sweet/weird/overweight/balding/single Israeli who owns his own laundromat near our dorm. Everyone sends him their laundry and everyone is pretty certain that, in the process, he also sniffs our undergarments. I'm telling you, he's not all there. But whatever, he's harmless. For now.

Anyways, I thought it would be fun to go as Toby and speak with an Israeli accent all night. Good times. My costume could only be described as "understated elegance:" a pillow tucked under my shirt with one of his laundromat fliers stapled to it. I think I won for creativity. Here are the pics:


My friend Drew, (Toby calls him "Droh") who
dressed up as a 70s tennis player, and his girlfriend
Emily who dressed up as Drew. The sad part is
the only thing they did for costumes was exchange clothes.


Cute



Three of my four roommates, left to right: Avi (dressed as
something strange), me, Natanel (as an Army dude),
and Ilan (as some kind of awkward French gigolo).


Desperation created some very interesting costumes

Aside for the occasional Israeli who walked past the party wondering what in the blue hell was going on, Halloween 2K6 was a raging success. No candy-induced stomach aches. No arrests. And no deaths. That sounds like a party to me.

-E

S.O.S.

This is worse than terrorism. Worse than whacked-out religious nutts. Even worse than the day Don Rumsfeld had today. Seriously, I'm on the verge of a complete psychological breakdown...

It's been out almost a week and I still haven't seen Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan. Considering Lethal Weapon pretty much just got to Israel last week, I think it'll be a little while before Borat makes his way to Holy Land theatres. Which is ironic, of course, because Sasha Baron Cohen's mother is Israeli.




The degree to which I am depressed about this can hardly be described. I've been waiting three years for this "moviefilm." Therefore, I am sending out an S.O.S. to anyone who has access to a website where it can be downloaded or a bootleg DVD copy...PLEASE send it my way. At this point you can even send the drama club from the local junior high school to act out the funnier scenes in the movie. I'm that desperate.

Anyways, thanks for the help.

Yegshemesh,
E

Gay Gay Here To Stay! Gay Gay Go Away!

"If the Arabs would just leave us alone, we'd kill ourselves!"
-some Jew

Love the quote. And it really is quite applicable these days. There's supposed to be a gay pride parade on Friday here in Jerusalem. So what, right? Well guess who's really pissed...religious Jews, Muslims, and Christians. That's right, Jews, Muslims, and Christians all holding hands and singing kumbaya in the spirit of gay-bashing! An unlikely alliance, but an alliance nonetheless.


"Dude, this parade is so gay."

Basically, Israeli gays/lesbians/bisexuals/transexuals want to have a parade to celebrate their rights and freedoms as Israeli citizens, but the religious guys (some, like me who is far from a bleeding heart liberal, would actually call these Orthos violent racist homophobes) see this is an afront on the holiness and sanctity of Jerusalem and their ways of life.

The problem is, the ultra-Orthodox Jews have been rioting in the streets of Jerusalem for the last few days. They've been setting fires to dumpsters and blocking traffic with tires and trash. Normally I wouldn't care that much except that all these shenanigans are diverting bus routes which really cuts into my drinking time at the bars.

But seriously, this is a big deal in Jeru right now. Violence is a very real possibility; at last year's march, an ultra-Orthodox man stabbed three parade participants. The issue is splitting the city apart and threatening to rot Israeli society from the inside out. Basically it's a power struggle between two of elements of Israeli society which hate each other to no end: secular vs. religious.

And here you thought all Israel had to worry about was Hamas, Hezbollah, and terrorism.

I'll be at the parade, and if I survive, I'll share pictures and anecdotes.