The Unusual Suspects

I realize that, for some people, my living arrangements and roommates have been the source of confusion/interest/exasperation/curiosity, so I will set the record straight once and for all.

I live in an apartment-style dorm called the Student Village here on campus with four other guys. I can proudly say that we are all very good friends and it's been a lot of fun living together. Now with that said, it's worth mentioning that Avi and TJ (see bios) are moving out this weekend to get a 2-person dorm room in the building next door.

So the following bios for the residents of Student Village Building 6, Floor 9, Apt. 4 is accurate...until Saturday. Then please cross the names Avi and TJ off your lists. In alphabetical order:



Name: Avi Goldstein
Age: 27
Hometown: Boston, USA
Favorite Falafel Topping: stuff
Editor's Note: Nothing quite says "Hi I'm a Jew" like
the name "Avi Goldstein" does it? With a quiet confidence
and distinct maturity that both impresses and frightens, Avi is
the most likely candidate in the apartment to be hiding
a corpse under his bed. He is also the "absentee father" of
the apartment. He's never around, but when he is, his
presence demands a high level of attention.
At least, that's what the ladies tell me...



Name: Erik Levis
Age: 27 and 18 months
Hometown: Washington D.C., USA and Marseille, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: hot sauce and you.
Editor's Note: Why is this idiot smiling? Hey! It's a mug shot
you're not supposed to be smiling, dummy! Oh, and here's 10 shekles,
go buy yourself a razor and some shaving cream.



Name: Ilan Shalom
Age: 22
Hometown: Paris, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Hakol (in Hebrew "everything")
Editor's Note: This guy's last name is "shalom" but there's
nothing peaceful about a guy who annoys the holy hell out of
you 24 hours a day. Ilan fashions himself a singer, but I beg
you to ask what the windows in our apartment
(which nearly crack every time he carries a "tune") think.
But seriously, a great kid with a great heart. One of my two
little "freres," he lets me copy his Hebrew homework. How can
you go wrong with a guy like that?

Name: Natanel Bloch
Age: 21

Hometown: Strasbourg, France
Favorite Falafel Topping: Humus, some vegetables, spices
Editor's Note: G-d should have added an 11th Commandment

banning "Nati" from speaking, moving, and especially, asking questions.

He walks into our rooms without knocking, eats all the food in the

apartment, borrows people's socks, is loud, can hardly do anything

for himself, can't sit still, has really weird hair, wears very

unusual clothing, and is a general nuisance. So why can't I hate him?

Charming to no end, the glass is always half full for the Nati, whom TJ

affectionately calls "Sparky." We're all big fans of Nati; how can you

hate a kid who is constantly smiling?

:
Name: TJ Herbert

Age: 26

Hometown: Seattle, USA

Favorite Falafel Topping: Nati

Editor's Note: Seriously, what's with the smiling?

Anyways, aside from the unusual ability to grab almost

any object with his toes, TJ is about as normal as it gets

around here. The lone goy of the apartment, TJ is a West Coaster

who's done some pretty cool things in his life. Just ask him about his

ex-girlfriend from his days as an English teacher in Taiwan.

TJ, whom Nati affectionately calls "Thomas Jefferson," will be vacating

our apartment this weekend in order to seek out greener pastures with

Avi in the building next door. We'll miss ya. Especially Sparky.

So that's the crew. And hopefully it's the last time I need to introduce everyone to a new set of roommates, cause I'm really tired of moving and learning new people's names. In the meantime, I'll keep everyone posted on our adventures...